by Brittany Kistler
Chapter 2: Not mine
I looked at his hands. They were extended from him, toward the viewer. It looked as if he was waiting for somebody to put something in his hands. But there was already something in his hands. My family was chained up like a chain-gang in the palms of his hands. But over his shoulder, in the distance, there I was. My back was turned, but I was looking over my shoulder at him. A large collar and chain made me look like a dog on a leash, and in my sad looking puppy eyes, were tears. All around me in the backround were my characters. Dimitri, Raimos and Robert Rose, Quee, Human Eff, Zar, Zara, Wittany and Delila. They were all surrounding me, their eyes blank and listless. "If you didn't do that, than who did?" she demanded.
I continued picking at my food and staring at the picture. "I'm serious. I didn't draw that. It is beyond my skill." I stood up from the table and took the picture with me.
"Where are you going?" she picked up my plate and dumped my food into the garbage.
"I'm going to my room to look at this thing." I turned my back to her and took another step forward.
"If you draw anything else like this, we are seeing a psychiatrist." I continued forward into the hall and up the stairs into my room. I closed the door behind me and laid the picture on the dresser. Before I did anything else I made my bed and straightened up my black velvet comforter. I grabbed the picture and sat on my bed, crossing my legs and studdying it intently. Something had changed. His straight face was now a sheer look of amusement. The grin I usually drew him with was there. Only in this change, he looked amusted. And in the back, my female characters weren't there, and I still had that same look of dispair and woe on my face.
"I didn't draw you." I glared at the drawing and spoke to it as if it were human. "You don't exhist. You can't exhist because I didn't create you." Munchie jumped up onto the bed and sat beside me, sniffing the paper in my hand. He flattened his ears back and began to growl. "Munchie? Whats wrong boy?" I put the picture down, a little closer to him than I intended and the result I got was fascinating. He backed up and hissed at the drawing, and when I extended my hand to pet him, he hissed again and jumped off the bed. I looked at the drawing and inspected it one last time, before I got up and threw it into my little white garbagecan.
Mom called to me from downstairs, telling me that she was leaving home early to do some errands before she went to work. I sighed and yelled "bye" down to her before I got up to my internetless bedroom computer and pushed the play button for my windows media player. I sprawled out on my bed and looked at all the pictures on my wall. Worry about you by Ivy began to play and I continued to stare at my wall. Humming a long with the song, I rolled over and reached under my bed, pulling out my drawing binder and a pencil and pen. I always thought it would be clever to keep my binders after school was over and store my drawing supplies in them. And indeed, my cleverness was rewarded. I sat up, crossing my legs, and laid the open binder on my legs. Picking up the pencil, I began to doodle thoughtlessly. I wasn't paying attention to what my hands were doing, and all I could remember doing, was humming to each song that played until I layed down the pencil and went over everything with the pen. When the pen hit the bed I shook my head from my trance and looked at what I had made. Staring at the paper in disbelief I rubbed my eyes until my make up was smeared. The image was different than I had wanted it to look. In fact it was not even related to what I wanted to draw.
In the position I sat in, in the place I was sitting on...instead of me, Damon was in my place. The drawing had him facing the door. And I could see all the pictures on my wall behind him, everyone in perfect detail. And in my position, he was looking down at the binder in his lap, holding a pencil in his right hand like he was drawing. Everything in my bed area that was visible from my bedroom door, was all visible in the picture. This wasn't mine. The style was different than anything I could ever draw. The detail...it was all far too realistic than anything I could imagine. Carefully, I picked the binder up and sat it beside me without taking a second glance. This did not happen, I thought, I didn't intend to draw this. Its not mine. I glanced at it again and turned the glance into a long trance-like stare. Once I looked away and looked back, it had changed.
He was now looking up at me, and the binder was sitting beside him now. In the same spot I had put it. My eye twitched and my lips began to quiver as I struggled to find words to say to myself. "No way...I didn't do that..." I picked the drawing up and held it in front of my face, examining every detail. "This seriously isn't happening." I crumbled it up and threw it into the garbage can. Running my fingers through my hair I laid back and stared at the ceiling smiling to myself. I'm not going crazy, I was perfectly sane before that dream and I am perfectly sane after wards. I'm just still a bit sleepy is all. I thought to myself. Just a little tired... I rolled onto my side and curled up, farther away from my binder. I looked at my alarm clock that now read five thirty six p.m. I didn't realize how long it must have taken me or whatever it was to draw that picture. It was also the music that helped time fly, and I was hoping it would work its magic again. Don't fear the reaper started to play and melt my cares away.
"You're pathetic." out of the darkness there he was. And his angelic brother beside him.
"Where am I?" I looked around and realized I had fallen alseep once more. Sometimes I wish I didn't take my sleeping pills. Insomnia used to be so wonderful. "Never mind." I sighed. I relaxed and started to become familiar with my black surroundings and watch the movements of my fallen angels.
"She isn't, shes smarter than you think." Dimitri said to his brother, and glanced at me. They spoke like I wasn't listening or there. I coughed to show my exhistance.
"Don't be stupid Dimitri." he snapped.
"Shut up Damon, she could erase you..." Dimitri whimpered. Damon slapped him in the back of the head and proceeded forward.
"You truely are pathetic." he continued. "You put threats of death or banishment into our heads to put us in our places." He grinned and flipped his hair. "My poor older brother is even scared...I'll give you that much." I watched him without fascination and turned my head to the side, as if I didn't hear him.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" I didn't want to be sleeping. So I guessed if I ignored him and things got boring that I would wake up. He continued forward as Dimitri stopped in his tracks.
"Yes, I did. And I know you heard me clearly." I sighed and faced him.
"If I am so pathetic, than how come I am not the one living in this dark little hellhole? Why is it you who is being threatened instead of I?" I raised my eyebrow and smiled a little.
He grunted and stood in front of me. I could feel his eyes search my face, it felt as if the answers to my questions were listed upon my skin. "Good question. But you see, thats all about to change." He grabbed my face with one hand and snapped my head forward so I looked him in the eye. "Your creations are becoming aware. The others didn't know that their pretty little lives were created by a so called "greater force" But with my help, they are beginning to realize something is wrong. And they want out." I glared and bared my teeth as he held my face tighter. " Don't even tell me that you will erase them. Because without them, you're nothing." His eyes darkened and began to put me down inside. It was as if I was collapsing from the inside.
"I am greater than you and my other creations. You were created to live your comic lives in your own story, not my life. You have no place in the real world, but to make me rich, and pass my time away. You each serve your own special purpose, and indeed you shall." Glaring at me with intense defeat he lifted me off the ground by my shirt with his other hand. My hands flew up to his arm and clung, in case my shirt would rip from the tention or he would drop me. But in the midst of all this, I smiled to myself...it was humorous...I should have made him a bit shorter than six foot two.
"What are you smiling about?" he growled.
"You don't know it, but you're serving yours right now." I was waiting for him to ask me what it was, and with my patience, I was rewarded.
"What?" he growled deeper.
"Being taller than me." I laughed a little before he hoisted me up higher, to the point where I was going to be sick. And it felt so real, I thought I was actually becoming sick.
"Put her down Damon." said Dimitri silently. Damon looked over his shoulder and lowered me slowly, keeping an eye on his brother. "If shes right, than we should be serving our purposes right now, and where it needs to be served." he spoke with authority, probably remembering that he was the older brother.
"We are." He held me only an inch from the ground now. "She created us to entertain he needs. And she looks entertained to me." I wanted to whip out a pencil and erase that smirk right off his face as he shook me back and forth. Suspended in his grip I was shaken like a ragdoll. I growled through my gritted teeth and took it.
"Put me down or else." I growled and dug my nails into his arm until he let go, dropping me on my bottom onto the ground. I looked up as he towered above me.
"Or else what?" he demanded with another smirk on hid face.
Standing up, I brushed myself off, only to have him push me back. I stumbled and tried to keep my balance as he shoved me back, until I eventually hit a wall that I didn't know was there. It wasn't a hard hit, but it was enough to alert me he was becoming a bit...controlling. "Or else I will erase you. I swear to you I will...when ever I wake up." I became silent as I said: until I wake up.
"You can't. You simply can't. If you listened to me before, once you erase us, than you are nothing." He was incorrect about that. If I erased them, than they would no longer exhist. They wouldn't be remembered. "You know, I like it when your helpless...its a good look for you. When I take over, I think thats how I should draw you." He hooked his finger under my chin and forced my face up.
"I can, and I will." Take over? What is he thinking? He knows straight up he is in my head, and in a dream...unless he doesn't know. "Don't speak like that," I scoffed and snapped at him, almost biting his hand as he withdrew it from me, "This is only a dream. And this is where you shall remain." Dimitri stepped forward and put his hand on his brothers shoulder.
"Shes right Damon, step down and listen to her." he urged. Only Damon flicked his wing up in a flash of black, wacking Dimitris hand right off his shoulder.
"She is not. Because she is what I make her out to be." when he said that, he had crossed the line.
I shoved him back, hard enough that he almost fell back into Dimitri, only he fell right in front of him, onto his bottom. "My creations will not and shall not rise above me! I am in charge! don't get too cockey...your time is running out." He sat there and laughed. I looked down at him and clenched my fists. "What is so funny?" I hissed. He laughed louder.
"You see? I am surving my purpose." he laughed a little quieter, "You created me frustrate you, question you, examine you. I am the person you have created to make your life more interesting. And you seem to be interested. But what happens when we have surved our purpose? What becomes of us then?"
"I-" he cut me off and got up.
"You what? Throw us out? You get tired of us and toss us? Well listen here, lovey. My purpose is not yet fulfilled. You also created me to be defiant, a control freak, and," he got closer, "so much more than you know..." he raised his hand and stroked my hair once before pulling it away and looking down at my face. "I was made to please you and piss you off at the same time. You made me to be your ideal badass. And it is too late to change me now." he grinned.
"Why would you want to become real? Its not like you could get away with haveing horns and wings and what-not in the real world. And you must forgive me when I say that there is no hope for you. You and your brother are stuck here, and there is nothing you can do about it...because I control your actions." He laughed and pulled his brother to his side. I backed up a step, bracing myself for what would happen next...for every action...there is a re-action.
"If you control our every action...than why are we aware?"