Becoming Aware Chapter 3

Becoming Aware
by Brittany Kistler

Chapter 3: Backfire
"I-I was planning on this...I was bored with my life and wanted some excitement."  The blood rushed to my face as I lied and tried to fumble for correct words.  "You are a part of my...my...elaborate plan to entertain myself...yea, thats it!"  I smiled sheepishly to myself and backed up a bit more.  Dimitri looked at me as If I went crazy and Damon chuckled a bit.  
"You speak lies.  You think that I haven't been a part of your mind long enough that I don't know you too well?  You made me smarter than you could ever possibly imagine.  And I know that you suck at lying."  I looked up at him and he looked down upon me.  I felt like more of a minority than I knew I was.  Was it true that in my own head, my dream, that I was useless?  
"You're not all that smarter than her Damon."  Dimitri spoke in my defence.  He gave me a sweet simle, that showed me that he wasn't about to ruin all that I've worked for.  When I wake up I think I'm going to give him something nice.  I smiled back until Damon whipped around and backhanded him on the cheek.  
"Stop it Damon!"  I ordered, causing him to snap his head to face me.  "I didn't create you to be so violent towards people.  Now obey my order and step down."  he smiled at me.
"Ah, but you didn't define who I wasn't suposed to be violent toward."  He got closer to me as I backed up into the wall behind me.  Next time I dream...I should add color so I know where everything is.  "As far as you know, I could beat the life out of you...I could slap you around...I could do anything to you because you did not specify who not to be violent toward." he brought his hand to my cheek gently.  I flinched when I saw his other hand rising slowly.  I expected him to deliver one hell of a slap. But instead he held my face gently with both hands and moved closer.  What is he doing?  "I could snap your neck in an instant, only gentle enough to paraliyze you.  I could do the same to anyone..."  he said this things to me in a soft gentle voice that confused me.  What the hell is wrong with you?  You're seriously more messed up in the head than I could have ever imagined you to be...damn violent comics...  "But I wouldn't dare harm you or kill you."  he grinned.  Wake up! Please something wake me up!  I wanted to scream out loud, but I was lost in those piercing, black, demonic eyes.  Never make another character with hypnotic eyes.  I smiled a little.  "I don't want to harm you...but I do want to hurt your pride." he gave me a wicked grin.  How?  I wanted to growl.  Because nobody knows how to hurt my pride.  Absolutely nobody.  "You want to know how?  You want to know my ticket to the real world?"  he mused and haunched down to my level, still keeping his hands on my face.  Stop, please!  Let me go, or I swear I will kill you!  
"Don't do it Damon."  warned Dimitri as he stepped closer to us.
"Silence brother!" he snapped and moved his face closer to mine.  His breath felt too real on my face.  I wanted to move, to push him off, but I couldn't move.  I tried to move my arms, my legs, anything to get me out of my position.  All that happened was my hands met his.  They joined his on my face.  No!  Whats going on?  This isn't supposed to happen!  Get your filthy mitts off me!  I felt like I was going to explode.  "Its not fun, is it?  The feeling of being under somebody elses control.  The feeling of uselessness..."  He smelled my face.  Are you attempting to smell my fear?  What is wrong with you?  Where the hell is my pencil when I need it? "Perfect..."  He seemed to purr as his nose rubbed my cheek.  "I want to hurt you so bad..." he grinned,  "I hope you're ready."  my eyes squeezed shut.  His purring grew louder until I felt something rough and wet against my cheek.  It felt like a toungue!  I opened my eyes to see what went on...only to find Munchie purring and licking my cheek.  
I shoved him away from my face and sat up.  "Damn cat!"  I yelled at him, letting him know I wasn't pleased.  "You're sick in the head..."  I mumbled to him and picked him up, holding him in front of my face.  He seemed to smile at me as he tried to lick my face again like a dog.  "Thank you so much...I guess..."  I kissed his soft little head and put him down.  "I'm sorry for cursing at you my little baby." I cooed.  He purred louder seeming to understand that it was all mutual and I wasn't mad.  What the hell was Damon doing?  What is his ticket to the real world?  I grunted and picked up my alarm clock.  It was two in the morning, so I changed into my blue velvet tanktop and matching pants.  I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and came out thinking about my dream.  When I got back to my room, I closed the door and plopped down onto my bed.  "I don't want to go back to sleep."  I sighed and rolled onto my side, using my one foot to kick my binder off the bed, I could hear the papers scattering all over the floor.   
"Than don't take your pill."  said mom as she opened my door.  
"Welcome home."  I sighed and rolled over to look at her.
"Now that I'm home, can you explain to me what that drawing was about?  Are you angry at us?  Did we do anything wrong?"  She came in and closed the door behind her and sat on the edge of the bed, beside me.  I sat up to look at her.
"You don't understand.  I didn't draw that picture.  Do you actually think I would?  That picture was beyond my skill."  she looked at my small artistic set-up across from my bed.  
"It was not beyond your skill.  You are a very talented artist and you're getting better.  It looked like something you would draw."  she got up to route through my drawers in my "studio" desk.  "You see this one,"  she picked up a sweet picture of Dimitri and I sitting on a river bank, fishing, "this is beautiful, and the shading, the style, everything looks closely related to that...that...awful thing you drew."  she handed me the picture for me to look at it.  I already knew what it looked like, so I sat it down like it was nothing.  She continued snooping.  "And this one," she held up a picture of Damon and I talking, I had my arm laced in his, and we were walking and talking down some street.  He looked down at me in a friendly way and I looked up at him with a smile on my face as we talked, "look how sweet it is, so...friendly and beautiful.  But how could you draw this and then draw that picture?"  She looked at the pictured and smiled.  I looked away, embarrassed bout it.  That so called sweet and beautiful picture was an awful mushy mistake.  I grunted as she continued to fish through my drawings, messing up their distinct order.  "What ever happened to the beautiful drawings you used to make?  All of these newer ones are so violent and disgusting."  She put all of them back in and closed the drawer.  
"Things change.  Most of my stuff is based on my dreams," I smiled a little, "and most are pretty screwed up.  And I don't care what you think about my drawing and stuff like that.  And I swear to you I didn't draw that one picture.  Now get out of my room!  I don't want to hear anymore about this."
"You are going to take your pill."  she said and went to the bathroom to fetch it.  She told me I didn't have to take it.  But maybe it was the fact that she was tired from work and was frustrated from my actions that she wanted me to take my pill.  Holding the pill in her hand she hovered beside me.  "Here."  she extended it to me.  I looked at it and looked away.  She grabbed me by the face and forced my mouth open.  I kicked and struggled to make her let go but she managed to force it down my throat.  It roughly slid down my throat into my stomach.  Feeling weak and tired I was dropped from her grip, back into my pillows.  She turned out the light and left me there.  
Darkness crept upon me like an unwanted blanket.  I fought back the heavyness that attached itself to my eyelids.  Their voices called to me, beckoning me into the drab darkness of sleep.  I forced images of feilds, roses, and river banks into my head to make everything more pleasant.  But their voices were throwing me off.  I didn't want to sleep, but due to the pill, I closed my eyes and floated off into my unwanted dreamland.